Oscar Nominations 2019: Internet Anger Intensifies

If you're desperately into the movie business or are one of those cat ladies who doesn't have to work due to an incident at the canned tomato plant years ago, then you probably tuned in to Good Morning America today to watch the unveiling of the 91st Academy Award Nominations. There are some surprises, some head-scratchers, and some omissions, but most importantly of all, some baffling Green Book love. Posted below are the nominations in all the major categories (sorry Sound Editing, ya basic). If you want my rants, deepest secrets, and general thoughts, keep on scrolling!

Best Picture

Black Panther
BlacKkKlansman
Bohemian Rhapsody
The Favourite
Green Book
Roma
A Star is Born
​Vice

Best Director

Spike Lee - BlacKkKlansman
Pawel Pawlikowski - Cold War
Yorgos Lanthimos - The Favourite
Alfonso Cuaron - Roma
Adam McKay - Vice

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Yalitza Aparicio - Roma
Glenn Close - The Wife
Olivia Colman - The Favourite
Lady Gaga - A Star is Born
​Melissa McCarthy - Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Christian Bale - Vice
Bradley Cooper - A Star is Born
Willem Dafoe - At Eternity's Gate
Rami Malek - Bohemian Rhapsody
Viggo Mortensen - Green Book

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Amy Adams - Vice
Marina De Tavira - Roma
Regina King - If Beale Street Could Talk
Emma Stone - The Favourite
Rachel Weisz - The Favourite

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Mahershala Ali - Green Book
Adam Driver - BlacKkKlansman
Sam Elliott - A Star is Born
Richard E Grant - Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Sam Rockwell - Vice

Best Original Screenplay

The Favourite
First Reformed
Green Book
Roma
Vice

Best Adapted Screenplay

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
Blackkklansman
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
If Beale Street Could Talk
​A Star is Born

Best Animated Feature

Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
​Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Best Documentary

Free Solo
Hale County This Morning, This Evening
Minding the Gap
Of Fathers and Sons
​RBG

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Sure, I could professionally and elegantly string together a long article of all my thoughts and feelings on this announcement, but seeing as I'm currently late to a conference call, we're gonna bang this one out with a scathing, BuzzFeed-style list!

My Friggin Thoughts on These Nominations

1. Why in Nine Hells would you only nominate 8 films when you can honor 10? Shame on you, voters. SHAME.
2. Roma receiving some acting nominations, though?? I take back 13 percent of that SHAME from earlier.
3. Where did you hide Ethan Hawke's First Reformed nomination, Academy? It wasn't in the Lead Actor category, but surely you wouldn't nominate Viggo over him, would you? No, of course not! Let's see, is it hiding in Sound Mixing? Nope, not there. Huh, maybe you left it in Documentary Short by mistake? Nu-uhh, not there either. Wait. It can't be. OHMYGODYOUFORGOTITOHMYGOD. I am pissed. Royally pissed.
4. I have not seen Cold War yet, but I've heard some really great things. So good work, Poland!
5. If Spike Lee loses even one award to Green Book, I will be forced into a secluded cabin life, so my rage won't accidentally cause me to flip someone's car with my bare hands.
6. *offensive New York accent* Ayy, it's Spider-Mans! 
7. Couldn't help but notice, you left out Three Identical Strangers in the Documentary Feature category. 
   *PUPPY DOG EYES ACTIVATED*
   Why'd you do that, Academy? That wasn't very nice at all. Did (sniff), did someone hurt you, Mr. Academy?
   

Some more in-depth thoughts should be coming soon, but for now, just have a gulp of the Haterade with your old pal Joe.